Have you ever noticed that things that should feel good… don’t?
You meet friends, and it’s fine—but flat.
You finally get a free evening—yet you can’t enjoy it.
A film, a walk, good food, even sex—your brain registers it, but you feel strangely unmoved.
Many LGBTQI+ people describe this as feeling “numb,” “flat,” “empty,” or like the world has lost colour. It can be confusing (and scary), especially if you’re used to being high-functioning or “the resilient one.”
A word for this experience is anhedonia—literally “without pleasure.” And it’s not just about happiness. It can also include losing motivation to seek enjoyable things in the first place.
This post is inspired by (and grounded in) the draft findings and explanations in BBC Science Focus Magazine’s article, Feeling just ‘meh’ about life? It could be anhedonia – here’s how to reverse it, and then expands the lens to include the lived reality of LGBTQI+ stress, visibility, and safety.
A quick note (important)
Anhedonia can be a feature of depression, trauma responses, burnout, substance effects, and other mental/physical health issues. If you’re struggling, you deserve proper support—not just self-help. If you’re having thoughts of harming yourself or you feel unsafe, please seek urgent support via local emergency services or crisis resources.
What anhedonia actually is (and what it isn’t)
The Science Focus piece highlights how the definition has expanded in recent years. Anhedonia isn’t only “I can’t feel pleasure.” It also often includes:
- reduced pleasure (things don’t feel rewarding)
- reduced motivation (even starting enjoyable things feels like too much effort)
One simple way to spot it is to notice your internal cost–benefit calculation. As Prof Diego Pizzagalli describes (in the article), people with anhedonia often experience a shift where:
- the reward feels smaller
- the effort/cost feels larger
So it’s not just that you don’t enjoy things—you may not even be able to initiate them.
What it can look like day-to-day
- cancelling plans you’d usually like
- scrolling instead of doing anything meaningful (not from pleasure—more from shutdown)
- feeling bored by everything, including things you used to love
- “I don’t want anything” rather than “I want X”
- a sense of emotional disconnection (from people, hobbies, your body, even your identity)
What it’s not
- “You’re ungrateful.”
- “You’re lazy.”
- “You’re not trying hard enough.”
Often it’s a nervous-system state—your brain trying to conserve energy after too much stress.
Why LGBTQI+ people may be especially vulnerable
The Science Focus article makes a key point: chronic stress alone can be enough to reduce the brain’s ability to register reward—even in people who don’t meet criteria for depression.
For LGBTQI+ people, stress is often not a single event. It can be stacked and ongoing:
- repeated microaggressions
- family tension or conditional acceptance
- identity concealment (or “toning yourself down”)
- workplace vigilance
- dating app fatigue and rejection sensitivity
- healthcare distrust or previous invalidation
- public-safety scanning (especially for trans people and visibly queer couples)
- community fractures, online harassment, political stress cycles
Even when “nothing terrible is happening today,” the nervous system may have learned to live in anticipation mode.
This connects strongly to what you’ve already explored in your blog project:
- visibility can feel risky even in “safe enough” settings (see The Visibility–Safety Paradox)
- constant self-editing drains the system over time (code-switching/masking patterns)
The brain chemistry piece
The Science Focus article emphasises dopamine—not as a “pleasure chemical” in a simplistic sense, but as a key part of anticipation and reward learning.
A crucial takeaway from Pizzagalli’s explanation in the article:
- acute stress may initially increase dopamine (a short-term coping response)
- but uncontrollable, chronic, sustained stress can lead to a downregulation (a reduction) in dopamine function—linked to anhedonia patterns
That “uncontrollable” piece matters for LGBTQI+ people, because so much minority stress contains the three features described in the article as especially harmful:
- lack of control
- unpredictability
- potential for humiliation
You can be thriving in one area of life and still be carrying a background load of these stress qualities. Over time, the reward system may start to dampen—not because you’re “broken,” but because your system is overloaded.
“Is this me, or is this depression?”
Anhedonia can show up in depression, but it can also show up in:
- chronic stress and burnout
- trauma-related shutdown
- grief
- some medication side effects
- substance after-effects
- sleep deprivation and inflammation-related states (more on this below)
A useful self-check:
- Do I want things but can’t access the feeling? (pleasure blunting)
- Or do I not even want anything? (motivation/anticipation blunting)
Either can be anhedonia—and both deserve support.
If you want a structured starting point for mapping your patterns, your existing resource LGBTQI+ Anxiety Self-Assessment can help clarify whether what you’re experiencing is more anxiety-driven, shutdown-driven, or a mix.
Why “just do more fun things” usually doesn’t work
The Science Focus article points to a vicious cycle:
- when you don’t experience reward, you do fewer rewarding things
- when you do fewer rewarding things, your brain gets fewer chances to relearn reward
So telling someone with anhedonia to “go enjoy yourself” can backfire. It adds pressure and shame.
Instead, the approach is usually:
- reduce what’s chronically draining the system
- reintroduce reward in small, scheduled, repeatable ways
- help the brain encode the reward when it does appear
Practical, evidence-informed ways to reverse “meh”
Below are solutions aligned with the mechanisms highlighted in the Science Focus article, adapted into LGBTQI+-relevant, real-life steps.
1) Reduce “toxic stress,” not all stress
The article notes that not all stress is bad. The most damaging stress tends to combine:
- uncontrollability
- unpredictability
- humiliation risk
Try a “stress audit” with this lens:
- Where do I feel I’m constantly performing?
- Where do I feel emotionally unsafe to make mistakes?
- Where do I feel exposed to judgement or ridicule?
- Where is the goalpost always moving?
Then choose one small lever you can realistically move:
- reduce one draining commitment
- adjust boundaries with one person
- mute one online source of humiliation-stress
- ask for one workplace accommodation
- plan one “recovery buffer” after high-demand social spaces
This is not about “avoiding life.” It’s about giving your reward system a chance to come back online.
2) Behavioural Activation (small, scheduled, non-negotiable)
The Science Focus article mentions behavioural activation: doing rewarding activities on a schedule, even when you don’t feel motivated.
Key detail: you’re not waiting to want it. You’re training the loop.
Make it queer-affirming and realistic:
- 10-minute walk with a specific playlist
- coffee in a place where you don’t feel watched
- texting one safe friend (not the person who drains you)
- a low-pressure creative task (not “make art,” but “open the sketchbook for 5 minutes”)
- attending one community space that feels regulating (or even just browsing a bookshop that feels welcoming)
The rule: choose actions that are small enough to start, not big enough to be inspiring.
3) Savouring: help pleasure “stick” when it shows up
The article describes “savouring” as a way to more deeply encode reward—e.g., pausing to absorb sensory details (coffee smell, ambience, light, warmth).
For LGBTQI+ people with chronic vigilance, this can be powerful because the nervous system often skims past safety cues.
Try a 20-second savouring practice once per day:
- pick one pleasant sensory detail
- name it silently (e.g., “warm mug,” “sun on my face,” “friend’s laugh”)
- breathe out slowly and let your body register “this is safe enough”
It’s small—but repeated repetition matters.
4) Sleep and exercise as reward-system support (not moral virtues)
The Science Focus article highlights sleep and exercise as stress buffers.
If anhedonia is present, motivation will be low—so avoid “workout culture” goals. Think:
- 8 minutes of movement you can tolerate
- daylight exposure + short walk
- gentle strength work while a show is on
This is about nervous-system capacity, not discipline.
5) Reduce inflammation supports (food as a lever, not a cure)
The article discusses inflammation being linked to stress and anhedonia, and suggests dietary patterns that reduce pro-inflammatory load (less highly processed, high sugar/fat foods; more fruits, vegetables, whole grains).
You don’t need perfection. Consider one simple shift:
- add one high-fibre food daily
- add one extra portion of fruit/veg
- stabilise meals so your nervous system isn’t running on spikes/crashes
If eating is complicated by stress, trauma history, ADHD, or financial constraints, keep changes compassionate and small.
6) Check medication and mental health care with a clinician
The Science Focus article notes that SSRIs may not be very effective for anhedonia in many cases.
That doesn’t mean “meds don’t work” or that anyone should stop medication. It means:
- if anhedonia is persistent, it’s worth a medication review with a qualified prescriber
- anhedonia may need a more tailored plan than standard depression treatment alone
7) Treat the underlying pattern: safety, visibility, and nervous-system learning
For many LGBTQI+ people, anhedonia isn’t only “low mood.” It’s the end-stage of prolonged self-protection.
When your system has been bracing for judgement or rejection, numbness can be the brain’s way of conserving energy.
That’s why approaches that combine cognition + nervous-system work can be helpful—especially if you’re already self-aware but still stuck.
If you’re exploring HypnoCBT tools, Beyond Survival: A Practical Guide to LGBTQI+ Anxiety is designed around exactly these kinds of patterns—where insight isn’t enough, because the body is still running old safety rules.
When to get extra support
Consider reaching out to a professional if:
- “meh” lasts most days for 2+ weeks
- you’ve lost interest in nearly everything
- you’re withdrawing from relationships
- you’re using substances more to feel anything
- you’re struggling with self-care, work, or basic routines
- you feel hopeless or emotionally shut down
If you’d like to explore support options, you can start at The Holistic Clinic (and if appropriate, book in via the pathways there).
Closing: anhedonia isn’t your personality—it’s a state
Anhedonia can feel like you’ve lost yourself. But what the Science Focus article makes clear is that this experience often reflects a modifiable reward-system state, frequently shaped by chronic stress.
For LGBTQI+ people, that stress may include years of visibility-management, self-editing, and anticipating social threat. If your joy has gone quiet, it may not mean you’re failing at life.
It may mean your system has been working too hard for too long.
And with the right combination of stress reduction, scheduled re-engagement (behavioural activation), savouring, sleep/movement support, and targeted therapeutic work, joy can return—often gradually, and then surprisingly.
Looking for a little extra guidance?
Book a free 15 minute phone or Zoom consultation
We will discuss your difficulties and your health and happiness goals. Plus we’ll begin creating a custom strategy to get you back on your right path!
No matter what it is, we are here to help! Together, we’re going to get to the bottom of the beliefs and habits that may be holding you back from your healthiest, happiest life.