In brief: For many LGBTQI+ people, perfectionism is not a personality trait or a sign of high standards — it is a nervous system survival strategy. Growing up feeling fundamentally “wrong” teaches the brain that safety must be earned through flawless performance. Perfectionism can show up as over-achievement, avoidance, over-giving in relationships, or auditing whetherContinue reading “Perfectionism Is a Survival Strategy: Why LGBTQI+ People Fear “Good Enough””
Tag Archives: window of tolerance
The Window of Tolerance: Why LGBTQI+ Anxiety Feels Like All or Nothing
In brief: The Window of Tolerance describes the zone where you can feel emotions without becoming overwhelmed or shutting down. For many LGBTQI+ adults, years of minority stress narrow this window, so even small stressors trigger panic (hyper-arousal) or numbness and collapse (hypo-arousal). Recovery focuses on widening the window through nervous system regulation, graduated practiceContinue reading “The Window of Tolerance: Why LGBTQI+ Anxiety Feels Like All or Nothing”